Last week, in a message from LeadingAge President, Katie Smith Sloan, she wrote about the epidemic of loneliness. Her words reflected on how leaders are prone to loneliness and how the same concept or concepts were addressed by Arthur C. Brooks in his book, “Strength to Strength”.
Surgeon General Vivek Murthy back in May, alerted the U.S. to a national problem of increasing loneliness, lack of connection, and isolation. Murthy called it a national crisis. Was this brewing pre-pandemic? Per Murthy, the crisis was percolating pre-COVID with approximately half of all adults “experiencing measurable levels of loneliness”. The Surgeon General’s Advisory Brief on mental health, social connections, and loneliness is available here: surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory
Routing back to Smith Sloan and Brooks, I too am concerned and aware of how many health care leaders, particularly CEOs, are lonely and often, victims of loneliness that breeds depression and perhaps, substance abuse. In his book, Brooks notes studies that show how half of CEOs experience loneliness at work, and that the same is tied to burnout. CEOs believe that loneliness impacts (negatively) their work performance. The loneliness doesn’t come from physical isolation as most days are spent surrounded by people, in meetings, or today, via telephonic and electronic connections. The loneliness comes from an inability to make meaningful connections at work. Titles and roles keep people at a distance and often, the CEO is equally concerned about maintaining a distance out of fear of being accused of being weak or heaven forbid, too forward. In a world today that still has systemic issues around fraternization at work, it’s easy to see how safety (perceived) is created via distance.
This past May, I wrote a post about CEO turnover, the causes, etc. The post is available here: https://wp.me/ptUlY-za One of the issues I neglected to be specific about was the issue of loneliness. The pandemic begat significant burnout and I believe, as I experienced it, that the disconnect that arose between people, being in-person, being physically close and in some cases touching, caused a swell of loneliness and then, relationship dysfunction. Most health care CEOs are people persons that use the connections with patients, families, and their staffs to their advantage in terms of vision and job satisfaction. Being in the midst of the care milieu is where energy is found and harvested. I know this personally.
Thomas Joiner, Ph.D., in his book, Lonely at the Top: The High Cost of Men’s Success writes: “Men appear to enjoy many advantages in society-on average they make more money, have more power, and enjoy a greater degree of social freedom than women. But many men pay a high price for the pursuit of success and power. Taking family and friends for granted, men will often let relationships take a back seat to their professional ambitions, only to ultimately find themselves with few real friends they can rely on in hard times. As a result, they turn to affairs, alcohol, and other self-destructive behaviors. Sadly, millions of men suffer untreated depression.” I would suggest a similar phenomenon exists for women executives as I have seen the same lack of friendship and depression among female CEOs.
So, on this Hump Day, a few prescriptions are in order for leaders to beat the loneliness and remain effective. I have spent 37 years consulting and in executive (C level) positions, so I have a little bit of reference to the lonely at the top issue and to professional dysfunction, disconnects, etc. Enjoy…and Happy Hump Day!
- True friends are rare so find a few, hopefully not connected to you and being your subordinate.
- Faith helps – a lot. Having a deep, abiding faith and view of a deeper meaning and purpose to life is a rallying point on the lowest of days.
- Family is key and hopefully, your partner is a place of shelter, unconditional love, and support. Mine has been my business partner as well so I am blessed – she is amazing.
- Keep work limits within the day, the week, etc. I am a recovering workaholic. Health care is open 365 days a year so there is always an issue, a thing, a crisis. It can be all consuming. Set limits.
- Exercise, physical activity, is key to staying mentally and physically resilient. Get a workout going that you can adhere to at least five days per week.
- If you find yourself with a thirty-minute interval between meetings, etc., meditate or relax, think about somethings other than work. Wander around, etc.
- Put fun into work. Let people see who you really are via social activities that don’t involve business. Office Happy Hours are great as are bowling parties, a running card game, Monopoly events, etc. Break down stereotypes and you will be happier as others, feel less intimidated by you as the Chief.
- Finally, one I did not do enough but am getting better at, TAKE TIME AWAY. This means trying to keep work at bay, to a minimum, without email, or perhaps, your cell at your side. Recharging your perspective is key.