There is an age-old adage that laughter is the best medicine. I concur. We as a society, have lost our sense of humor (and our collective common sense). We take everything too seriously. No wonder depression is “up” along with loneliness.
There used to be sitcoms on TV that were really quite funny. Not much anymore. There were shows like Laugh-In and Hee-Haw and if you got the right channel, Benny Hill, that were full of bad jokes and skits that did make you laugh or at least, lighten your mood. A Johnny Carson monologue was a thing to behold and often, to laugh out-loud at. Rodney Dangerfield, Henny Youngman, Don Rickles, Jerry Seinfeld, and others were just plain funny. Of course, regardless of his later years’ legal troubles, Bill Cosby was absolutely capable of cracking me up, so much so that my stomach would hurt from laughing. The shtick involving the dentist is priceless.
So, on this Hump Day, my advice for all readers is to find a reason to laugh, to chuckle, or simply to smile. You will feel better and you will notice how different the world really is, when you can laugh at it and yourself. Below are a few jokes to get your “laughing Wednesday” started. Happy Hump Day!
- One fine day, John and Don are out golfing when John slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 7-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball. The brush is quite thick, but he searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact a 7-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball. John excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: “Hey Don, come here. I’ve got some real trouble down here.” Don comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out: “What’s the matter, John? Is everything okay?” John shouts back in a nervous voice, “Throw me my 8-iron! Apparently, you can’t get out of here with a seven.
- A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers’ attention, he is yelling, “Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!” A pastor hears this and asks, “Why are you calling them ‘dam fish.'” The boy responds, “Because I caught these fish at the local dam.” The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, “I didn’t know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way.” He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, “That’s the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!”
- Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven.” Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Six.” Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?” Johnny: “Seven!” Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!” Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”
- Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!” The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.